* * * * * *
* * *
Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. Ephesians 5:1 (NKJV)
priest was invited to attend a house party. Naturally, he was
properly dressed and wearing his Priest's Collar. A little boy
kept staring at him the entire evening.
Finally, the priest asked the little boy what he was staring
The little boy pointed to the priest's neck.
When the priest finally realized what the boy was pointing at,
He asked the boy, "Do you know why I am wearing that?"
The boy nodded his head yes, and replied, "It kills fleas and
ticks for up to three months".
* * * * * * * * * * * *
A London lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by an
Irish cop. He thinks that he is smarter than the cop because he
is a lawyer from LONDON and is certain that he has a better
education then any Jock cop. He decides to prove this to
himself and have some fun at the Irish cop's expense!
The Irish cop says, "License and
London Lawyer says, "What for?"
Irish cop says,"Ye did nae come
to a complete stop at the stop sign."
London Lawyer says, "I slowed
down, and no one was coming."
Irish cop says, "Ye still did
nae come to a complete stop. License and registration, please"
London Lawyer says, "What's the
Irish cop says, "The difference
is, ye huv te come to complete stop, that's the law. License
and registration please!"
London Lawyer says, "If you can
show me the legal difference between slow down and stop, I'll
give you my license and registration and you give me the
ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket."
Irish cop says, "Sounds fair.
Exit your vehicle, sir."
The London Lawyer exits his
The Irish cop takes out his
baton and starts beating the living daylights out of the lawyer
and says, "Dae ye want me to stop, or just slow down?"
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Cletus is passing
by Billy Bob's hay barn one day in Iowa when, through a gap in
the door, he sees Billy Bob doing a slow and sensual striptease
in front of an old green John Deere.
Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette, and
gently slides off first the right strap of his overalls,
followed by the left. He then hunches his shoulders forward and
in a classic striptease move, lets his overalls fall down to his
hips, revealing a torn and frayed plaid shirt. Then, grabbing
both sides of his shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his stained
T-shirt underneath. With a final flourish, he tears the T-shirt
from his body, and hurls his baseball cap onto a pile of hay.
Having seen enough, Cletus rushes in and says, "What the
world're ya doing, Billy Bob?"
"Good grief, Cletus, ya scared the bejeebers out of me," says an
obviously embarrassed Billy Bob.
"But me 'n the wife been havin trouble lately in the bedroom
d'partment, and the therapist suggested I do something sexy to a
me come splain this to you!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
NOTES FROM YOUR CHAPLAIN: NEAL BROWN
- SOUTHERN CROSS MINISTRIES, INC. – PHONE – CELL: 423-421-3402;
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